Essential Guide to Surviving Squad 12

"Dear newest member,

If you are reading this, congratulations! You have joined Squad 12 and are part of the Shinigami Institute for Research and Development. I am your captain, Kazaru Shichiyou. This has been written so that you understand what is expected of you as a member of my squad.

-Address me as Captain Shichiyou. Offenders will be beaten.
-Act intelligent. Stupidity is not permitted and can result in a transfer.
-Do not enter my place of residence. I am sleeping or doing something you don't want to see.
-Do not enter my office/lab without permission unless you are the lieutenant, have something urgent, or are female.
-Insulting me means you have offered your body to science. Expect to be a test subject.
-If I am interacting with a girl, go away. Cock blocking also means you want to become research material.
-If I have my eyes on a female, you cannot attempt to take her. She is mine until a new one enters the picture.
-If you are an attractive female, transfer to another squad if you don't want me hitting on you.
-Listen to your conscience. Follow your sense of justice.
-The preservation of the division is more important than your life. It is vital that all information held in the division is kept so that the successor to me will have my and all former contributions. We will all sacrifice our lives to prevent data from falling into enemy hands or being destroyed.
-Listen to superiors.
-There is ice cream offered on Wednesdays from 9 to 10 PM in the Captain's residence. Come to join in on the fun!
-Protect your nakama.

If you follow those laws, you will flourish in the 12th Division.

Yours truly,

Captain Kazaru Shichiyou"